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A favor, your thoughts on the atonement and adversity

posted Feb 28, 2017 04:29:35 by Dawn
If you feel led to, I'd love for you to share with me privately, if you've had a crisis in your life where you felt there was NO ONE, BUT the ONE that could help you through. If you can share briefly what the experience was, how you felt the atonement healing or lifting you through the experience, I'd be so grateful. I am speaking to our Stake YW meeting on Friday, and I feel like there is something that is needed from the experience of others. You can email me at azdmarie at gmail.com Thank you. You can obviously also share here.
[Last edited Feb 28, 2017 04:30:05]
azdmarieatgmail
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14 replies
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PaulaTaylor said Feb 28, 2017 06:39:36
I got pregnant. I didn't want to be pregnant. I had the "perfect" family. I had plans for the summer. I had given away all the baby stuff and declared from the rooftops that we were DONE. When I was surprised with this pregnancy, I was angry and got very depressed. Everything *I* had wanted... I had, or was about to have, and now my thoughts of what my life should be like were dashed. I was not in a good place spiritually, emotionally, or physically. I was depressed, and puking 3 times a day, and had 4 kids and a farm CSA to run. It was the lowest place I've been in my life.

I couldn't take it anymore. I could NOT keep feeling this way. Something had to give. The reason I was pregnant was because of God anyway, so I had no one to take it up with but Him. I had to stop being angry with Him and humble myself to His will. That was really really hard for me. I bawled and poured my heart out to Him. I pleaded "WHY?! WHY ME?!" And finally by the end conceded, "okay, I'm in. I will do it. I will do anything you want me to. Your ways are better than mine." It was a hard prayer...but it changed my life.

It wasn't overnight, but I finally got over being pregnant and started looking forward. My heart started to soften. Then, some days later, I miscarried. It was traumatic and I lost a lot of blood. I stayed in the hospital overnight. I had to have surgery. On one hand, I was seriously SO GLAD to not be pregnant anymore, but on the other, I was resentful that I went through all that pain FOR NOTHING. I got the remains back from the lab at the hospital and went through the motions of mourning and tried to help my children mourn the loss as well. We buried the 9w fetus under some rainbow tulip bulbs in the fall when we lost her (guessing gender). Rainbow is the symbol of baby loss and they bloom every spring when she was due.

This placed my feet on the path, no longer sleepwalking my way to salvation. I read more about the gospel and felt Him calling me to truly follow Him like never before. When I was surprised 6 months later with another pregnancy, I'll be honest, it was still a really tough pill to swallow. But this time, my heart was softer. I didn't fight Him this time. I went into it begrudgingly, but willingly, asking Him to help me, as there was no way I could do it by myself. I DID NOT want to be pregnant. I forced myself to try and be happy about a 5th baby. I knew I needed to learn my lesson faster than last time. It was really hard. The Spirit is what changed my heart. If I couldn't draw to Heavenly Father for help, I would have been an angry depressed mess, worse than I was before. I learned so many lessons through the Spirit and scriptures. I awoke to a bright incredible future with my Savior. and all the sancification that comes with parenthood. That pregnancy was the hardest if any of them, but the most beautiful because of where I am now because of it. Not only do I have a cgeerful 14mo perfect child that is such a light to our home, but I walk closer to the Lord than ever. No advice from my Mother In Law, no well meaning comments from people adoring my belly, no support my husband could muster was going to cheer my angry soul. Only the Lord could do it. And He did, as soon as I humbled myself and consented and covenanted to be His servant.

I am so changed. That day on my bedroom floor, 9w pregnant, nauseous, sobbing, pleading with Him...He began to sanctify me. It's still happening, but I was changed into a prideful know-it-all gospel sleepwalker, into a daughter of God with an eye single to His Glory, even if I do still make mistakes. I'm now moving forward when 3 years ago, I was stuck and didn't even realize it. Thank you for being an answer to my prayer tonight by helping me realize how far I've come.



[Last edited Feb 28, 2017 07:01:31]
Cutiefruity at rocketmail dot com
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Dawn said Feb 28, 2017 07:34:20
Thank you Paula. What a beautiful change of heart story. For at least a week the Spirit has been whispering to just get up and give my talk and let the Spirit lead. My response has been, uh NO, I'm not doing that. I don't do that kind of talk. I'm a white knuckle write it all down speaker. So, he's just sat back and let me struggle with writing and rewriting a talk I know isn't right. Sigh.

Tonight as I have continued to consider the invitation to rely on the Spirit for nearly a 30 MINUTE TALK, I had an idea. As I went to my blog and read a story I wrote, my heart started pounding wildly and I knew that I just need to tell my story and show the points where the atonement was working. Make a few small suggestions, and ask a few questions and leave those questions with each sister to answer. Oh my goodness. I have this super excited nervousness now. And even though I'm not fully committed yet, I'm willing to have the conversation with the Spirit. "OK, now what?" :-)

I love that term you used, gospel sleepwalker. THANK YOU.
azdmarieatgmail
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PaulaTaylor said Feb 28, 2017 08:19:27
Trust Him! He's got this! You can do it, Dawn!
Cutiefruity at rocketmail dot com
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JulieK said Feb 28, 2017 16:02:17
Dawn, I just LOVE how the Spirit guides and leads us in all things in our lives. Thanks for sharing this very example of Him working so effectively in your life while preparing for your talk.

You'll do AWESOME, I'm sure. I always feel such a strong confident testimony of Jesus Christ and the power in His atonement from you and I'm sure that the congregation will feel the same and come away inspired.
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Dawn said Mar 01, 2017 01:39:46
(A quote I might share:) From the Infinite Atonement:

β€œOne might wonder, could the Savior redeem us from spiritual death of if he had not first suffered the consequences of our sins: Or, could he exalt an ordinary individual if he had not first internalized the woes of mortals? On one hand, the Atonement was an exercise of incredible power, enabling Christ to endure the total human plight. On the other hand, the atoning process was the acquisition and then the manifestation of incredible power to overcome that plight, as demonstrated by the power to resurrect, to redeem, and to exalt. Could it be that the exercise of the power to endure was essential to the acquisition of the power to overcome? Was the latter power born out of the former?”

And that is the same way we overcome. Through the atonement we endure, then overcome.
azdmarieatgmail
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Dawn said Mar 01, 2017 01:43:48
Another: Love and Power would be good scripture searches.

"Again and again in the scriptures the atonement is referred to as power. With the possible exception of the word "love", it seems to be the single most repeated word used to describe the atoning process. Such power was a natural outgrowth of the Savior's infinite nature. Just as happiness cannot be acquired independent of obedience to God's laws, so power cannot be permanently acquired independent of developing divine virtues. You cannot have one without the other. They are inseparably connected."

Also: The two great commandments on which ALL THE LAW AND PROPHETS hang, have something in common. Love, love, and LOVE.
azdmarieatgmail
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AliciaBlickfeldt said Mar 02, 2017 04:15:07
You don't want to hear my story of healing holistically from cancer...but that is indeed where I had to rely on the Lord and knew He was the ONLY one who would get me through. It was either my time to die, or it was not, and He was the only one who knew which. I leaned on Him HARD!!! If you want more details, just ask.
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David.Clark said Mar 02, 2017 06:07:48
Alicia, my wife's mother was diagnosed with cancer back in 1993. She was supposed to have passed on years ago. Through turning to the Lord, and following the Spirit, she went twenty plus years before she was forced to undergo medical treatment. The doctors remain baffled as to how she has lived this long. Sounds like there could be some similarities between your experience and hers. πŸ™‚
Formerly known as Alabama LDS

drc53@ymail.com
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Dawn said Mar 02, 2017 07:05:26
Why wouldn't I want to hear that Alicia? I have been sent privately some amazingly DIFFICULT and beautiful stories. It's nearly overwhelming to know what others have suffered. They have truly been through the furnace of affliction. They have been beautified by the refiner's fire. The atonement does that. I am so grateful I asked. My heart has been touched greatly. Thank you to those who shared.
azdmarieatgmail
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AliciaBlickfeldt said Mar 02, 2017 14:22:57
Dawn, the reason I said that is because I've repeated it multiple times on the forum before AND wrote a book (it's on Amazon now-They Said I Would Die-A jouney to self-healing). I'm just trying to avoid being annoying. ..lol.
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Dawn said Mar 02, 2017 17:44:35
haha
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MAM said Mar 06, 2017 05:03:36
How did your lesson go? I hope you told your story because it was powerful.


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BrookeEnos said Mar 06, 2017 22:00:48
Oh wow, I just emailed you but then realized your talk already happened. How do you feel about how it went? I wish I could have heard you speak. You have a way with words.
[Last edited Mar 06, 2017 22:01:40]
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Dawn said Mar 06, 2017 23:52:27
Melanie, it went really well apparently. I have a hard time feeling how I talk, but I had lots of very nice feedback. I posted my talk here.

http://www.nofearpreps.com/forum.html#/20170303/refiners-fire-5392444/page2/

Brooke, thanks for sharing. I just saw it. I appreciate that you shared so much.

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